I was driving to work one morning last week….listening to a local Christian radio station as I alway do. An excerpt came on entitled “Family Life”–one minute–that’s all it was–one minute in length.
The speaker is saying how the best gift you can give your children is a good, solid marriage centered in Jesus–how when your children hear you argue or disagree upon something that it is like cracks in their sidewalk.
As I’m driving along and hearing this, I’m thinking to myself that my own children didn’t grow up with “cracks in their sidewalks”. No……instead they grew up in a country that seemed to be devastated by earthquakes–day after day after day.
What happened? All the guilt and shame came pouring back into me. I could literally feel this like an oppression upon me….even though I have confessed this and have been forgiven….the floodgates opened and I was crushed.
I spent the entire day in this mode. That evening I needed to pick up my son from work due to his car breaking down that morning. He asked me what was wrong….I sounded “funny” when he called me.
I didn’t share my feelings with him…perhaps I should have….but, I kept them to myself.
As I was returning home, this song came on the radio. I was again reminded of God’s love and mercy…..His great and wonderful love for me….even through the mistakes that I have made in the raising of my children.
I thank You, God, for Your love and everlasting mercy and grace upon me….