Words spoken from one to another to another to me.
These words sting, bring back the past, put me into another place and time. They make me feel “righteous indignation”.
I see a picture of the person who originally spoke these words, and I think a nasty thought about her. And as I am looking at the picture, the words return to my heart and mind.
I wonder why this person cannot see beyond the past….from what we were….to the present….who we are now…..and even further to who we may become.
These words, spoken on Friday, stay with me…fester within me….bring a feeling of lowness, sadness, unworthiness, shame and guilt.
I have been here before–in these exact same places. I know what to do, but can I?
Can I cry out to my Father and tell Him how I am feeling? Can I unburden myself by burdening Him?
My guilt overwhelms me—it is a burden too heavy to bear….Psalm 38:4
I carry this with me…carrying this and bowing under the weight upon me. How long can I carry this? Will I carry it forever? Will others remember and only think these thoughts about not only me, but my family?
Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be. If you weigh them on the scales, together they are lighter than a breath of air….Psalm 62:9
Tears come to my eyes from time to time….tears of sorrow…..
We have moved on from this place many years ago. Am I hiding my light under a basket so that others cannot see?
Last night–sitting outside in the darkness…close my eyes–quiet…..peace…..calm….serene….crickets chirping….aroma of honeysuckle…..small child laughing far below me…..
Open my eyes–fireflies all around in the darkness–their topaz flickering on and off….alighting first here, then there–too quickly for me to keep track. There are so many–my own private fireworks celebration.
Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall….Psalm 55:22
The burden lifts–
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”….Matthew 11:28-30
Peace descends upon me–
For Jesus said:
“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”…..John 14:6